tick-tock
Photos by Billy
I’m having trouble staying in the moment—
Before day break, I wake to William wailing, and even before I reach him, I am thinking of what he can eat. And as I feed him, the dogs yowl and step on my feet with their uncut claws. Letting them outside into the darkness, I remember things I should have done weeks ago: checking the oil in the Subaru, taking the library books back…
It’s the same even after Billy takes the baby. Coasting down I-64 to work, I am lost in my head; I turn off on Ivy, brake, and follow the road that winds through trees. All the while, I am organizing my lesson in my head, practicing the order of the words I will say to those eager, restless students. As I rush back to pick up William in the afternoon, I drink hot water distractedly from Will’s sippy cup left in the car.
Don’t get me wrong, I realize that my life is good: I work part time, have lots of help from Billy, and get to spend much of the day with my baby boy. Most weeks I still make it to yoga even, I just find it hard to actually be there. As my teacher demonstrates poses, I marvel at her poise, move with her, but at some point, I am just copying blindly. My mind is already barreling forward, lining up one word after another, imagining the stories I hope to write during these last days of summer.
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test Filed under family matters, photographs, writing | Comment (1)One Response to “tick-tock”
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I can certainly relate to not staying in the moment, Jocelyn. I enjoy your writing and the photos of my handsome grandson . Your writing … the story of your days…and the beautiful photos of Will bring me back to what is important in life…my family.
Love you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and my grandson with me.
Linda